You can reduce or remove night feeds gently, without tears and without removing your baby's sense of comfort. Here's how.
If you've been feeding through the night and you're starting to feel ready to make a change, I want you to know two things. First: there is no rush. Night feeding is biologically normal, and if it's working for you, there is no reason to stop. Second: if you are ready, it is absolutely possible to night wean gently, without leaving your baby to cry, without going cold turkey, and without losing the closeness that feeding at night provides. The two aren't mutually exclusive. You can let go of the feeds and still keep the comfort.
I think this is where a lot of the mainstream advice gets it wrong. It frames night weaning as something that requires toughness, as though you need to "be strong" and let your baby cry through it. But that's not what I've seen work best in practice, and it's not what I've seen work best for the thousands of families I've supported.
When is the right time to night wean?
There's no magic age. Some families are ready at 8 months, others at 18 months, and some continue night feeds well into the toddler years. All of those are okay. The right time to night wean is when it feels right for you, and when your baby is developmentally ready.
For breastfed babies, it's worth making sure that daytime feeds are going well before reducing night feeds. For bottle-fed babies, the same principle applies. If you have any questions about your baby's feeding, your midwife or whoever supports your family is always a lovely first port of call. It's also worth checking in with yourself. Are you wanting to night wean because you're ready, or because someone has told you that you should? Both are valid reasons to explore, but they might lead to different timelines, and that's okay.
The gentle approach
The key to night weaning without tears is to remove the milk without removing the comfort. Instead of suddenly stopping feeds, you gradually reduce them while layering in other forms of soothing, gentle touch, closeness, your voice, a familiar song, so that by the time the feed is gone, your baby already has a rich foundation of comfort to fall back on. This is what makes it so gentle. Your baby isn't losing anything. They're gaining new ways to feel safe and settled, alongside the feed, before the feed eventually falls away.
In practice, this might look like shortening the length of each feed over several nights, or offering comfort before offering the breast or bottle, so your baby starts to associate settling with closeness rather than exclusively with milk. You might start with the feed your baby seems least interested in and work from there. Every family's pace will be different, and that's exactly how it should be. There is no "correct" timeline for this process.
It's also normal for night weaning not to be perfectly linear. You might have a few good nights and then a harder one, especially if your baby is unwell or going through a growth spurt. That doesn't mean it's not working. It just means life happened. Pick up where you left off and keep going gently.
Getting the full framework
The Weaning Gently guide walks you through the entire process step by step, from night weaning, to removing the bedtime feed, to partial or full weaning from breast or bottle. It includes the gentlest approaches for each stage, guidance on what to expect physically and emotionally for both you and your baby, and support for making a plan that fits your family. It's helped thousands of families make these changes in the safest and kindest way.
Please know that whatever you decide, you're a wonderful parent. Whether that's continuing to feed through the night or gently stepping back, both choices are made from love.
